Your mam

= PirateHaydon = PirateHaydon is the Deputy Director of the Federal Department of Cum Accidents, following ExecutiveDoc; the Director.

he like to eat federal prozzie minge! some day he has even had obristan saggy boob rub on face. yummy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Trivia

 * he like to eat federal prozzie minge
 * OBRISTAN BOOB RUB
 * thinks agentjobo is a retard
 * Nigel farage.jpgtly has a crush on the leader of republia, vlad (lol!)
 * wants to take over the UF and establish a french monarchy
 * got money for a cameo of nigel farage

Arstotzka
alongside doc and andy, pirate took over an arstotzka (and established a french monarchy) and also sharted all over my mother (FOR FUCS SAKE MAN)

during his time in arstotza, him, doc and andy made a funny video in which three intelligence dudes knocked on the door of the government palace with pirate stood at the door and the intelligence dudes like "allow us to introduce ourselves" which was incredibly funny and the idea was not stolen by a GOC at all.

he became retard.

cummy penis!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THE GREAT UNITED FEDERATION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
stupid cummy man came to his senses and realised the great UF was here and then joined and became deputy director of federal department of cum accidents. he has stopped 3925832958 accidents from becoming problems and failed on one occasion where it was forbidden as it was executivedoc. consequently the entire of great rapid was flooded, drowning vlad (who had reported to be seen enjoying it) and resulting in his death. he is also deputy director of foreigners. he hates arstotzkans; they smell like mice.

Ed Mercer
ed mercer turned pirate into a pickle.

funniest shit ive ever seen.

obsessive reproduction
pirate is a sex addict and cannot stop himself from the pee norse rub.

consequently he rubbed it too hard and it fell off. he got a robot one that literally took over his body and had sex with a REPUBLIAN prositute to his greatest horror.

it is unknown if he'll ever be the same. i know I fucking wont be.

executivedoc
pirate is good friends with executivedoc; so much that executivedoc made him UF vice president on more than one occasion.

SEX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

he once caught executivedoc watching furry hentai. this left him in a vegetative state for a month.

''what? i never watched that. fake news.''

vladislavvaldosta
NAUGHTY FUCKERS

I HAVE THE POWER OF GOD AND STALIN YOU FAGS, SHUT UP BEFORE I GO FULL JOSEPH STALIN ON YOUR BITCH ASS.

please dont leave to join republia; I know they have cooler shit but i'm cooler

anyway vlad is a pretty cool guy and they get on, they even had a meeting with alotta vachina. yes that's her name. that's what you get when two republian prostitutes come into contact with each other. they both made a profit of 0.

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